The Pretender Unmasked

Yep, that’s me. The Pretender, caught out, and now in complete and utter panic.

Pretender Confession #1:  I admit to being physically and emotionally derailed by the broken ankle thing. Despite my previous blathering about getting motivated and my repeated attempts to be optimistic, I have been in a funk of frustration and procrastination since April. My patience with my immobility is only on the surface. My intention to write, while sincere every day, seems to remain only intention, every day. And now I’ve gotten an email from the Highlights Foundation about the workshop I’m supposed to attend in July. Therein lies the source of my panic: I’m going to a writer’s workshop, and I am without a manuscript because I’ve been procrastinating instead of writing, because I haven’t been able to get my head in the game.

Which leads me to:

Pretender Confession #2: I applied to the workshop on a whim, thinking never in a million years I would get a scholarship that would make it almost affordable. Then, it was too late to back out because my husband got online right away and bought a plane ticket for me. For a little while I didn’t feel like quite such a Pretender because I did have an article being considered for purchase. But it turned out that someone beat me to the punch. Thus, Pretender status was fully reinstated. (Come to think of it, I got that happy news in mid-March…maybe that’s when the funk started.) I did send another article to the editor, but I fear it has fallen into the black hole of silent rejection.

Now I have only two short weeks* to come up with my manuscript for a mentor to review. A Highlights Foundation mentor. Holy s**t. What am I going to do?

PANIC. Which I am doing now–thank you for listening.

And get to work. Which I will do tomorrow, when the panic is out of my system.

Please send good vibes and good luck my way. I think I will need all I can get.

Four leaf clover

Four leaf clover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

*Update on 5/30: Got another email this morning. The first one had the wrong date! I have till June 30 now, which eases the panic band around my chest a little. But, I have learned my lesson and will be working hard. 🙂 Whew, talk about motivation…

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About Jeannette Monahan

A writer sidetracked by life, with a husband and two boys who shine brighter than Arizona sunshine. Visit me at my blogs: jeannettemonahan.wordpress.com or jmmonahan.wordpress.com. You are always welcome.
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24 Responses to The Pretender Unmasked

  1. Drangedinaz says:

    From one procrastinator to another, I salute you! :). In all seriousness though….you can do it. I believe in you…the problem is you don’t believe in you, at least not lately…I will be sending out writerly vibes your way……ohmmmmmmmmmm

  2. Samir says:

    Good luck! I say dig up some old piece you’ve written and take it from there. Rewrite, change, adapt… but at least you have something to work with rather than start from scratch – which is more difficult in the time span you indicate.

    • That was a thought, but when I got the new email with the new deadline I decided to go ahead with my original idea. You’re right–it’s hard to start from scratch. But I’m getting there. Thanks Samir!

  3. domesticbubblewriter says:

    Get to work Jeanette!!! (and lots of good luck and vibes!)

    Know that procrastinating feeling.

  4. emjayandthem says:

    I have complete confidence in you; push aside the other stuff and do it, I know you can!! 🙂 MJ

  5. pharphelonus says:

    Hey lady. I hope you find your inspiration.

  6. mj monaghan says:

    You’re a Monahan – of course you can do it!

  7. subtlekate says:

    You can do it. Knuckle down and write write write. No blogging, no tv, just writing.

    • Thanks, Kate! I took your advice to heart and forced myself to not even look at blogs or write blogs. My only time online has been for research. Can’t say the same for TV, because I did get caught up in watching Lost…

  8. Kate is right. Turn off the internet. I sometimes go to the library, where I don’t have to look at the dirty dishes. Once a week I meet writer friends at a coffee shop and we just write for hours. It is solitary work, but nice to have company. You sound like you have a real peach of a husband. Have a glass of wine, and then write. Good luck, Jeannette.

    • I do have a peach of a husband, Naomi. Thanks! Yes, it’s amazing how much I can get done by only using the Internet for research. The library is a good idea, and now that I am walking and driving again, I will probably end up there.

  9. Janet says:

    There is only one thing you can do – WRITE!

  10. Ianus Christius says:

    Hello again!
    Please stop by, I have some interesting tests for you to solve. Maybe you’ll like it.
    cheers:-)

  11. kavenson says:

    Find a place away from the where the funkiness lives and write. You have it in you.

  12. fivereflections says:

    i can imagine being in the desert listening to the winds of creativity flowing through the canyon, inspiring thoughts and erasing the stress in our busy lives. close your eyes imagine the joy you find in writing – feel those peaceful thoughts rekindle your mind – your mentor will be inspired, when the words of your manuscript flow into her eyes… you can do it…

    david

  13. Oh my gosh, David. You are not only a haiku poet but a prose poet. Thank you for the calm.

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