Yep, that’s me. The Pretender, caught out, and now in complete and utter panic.
Pretender Confession #1: I admit to being physically and emotionally derailed by the broken ankle thing. Despite my previous blathering about getting motivated and my repeated attempts to be optimistic, I have been in a funk of frustration and procrastination since April. My patience with my immobility is only on the surface. My intention to write, while sincere every day, seems to remain only intention, every day. And now I’ve gotten an email from the Highlights Foundation about the workshop I’m supposed to attend in July. Therein lies the source of my panic: I’m going to a writer’s workshop, and I am without a manuscript because I’ve been procrastinating instead of writing, because I haven’t been able to get my head in the game.
Which leads me to:
Pretender Confession #2: I applied to the workshop on a whim, thinking never in a million years I would get a scholarship that would make it almost affordable. Then, it was too late to back out because my husband got online right away and bought a plane ticket for me. For a little while I didn’t feel like quite such a Pretender because I did have an article being considered for purchase. But it turned out that someone beat me to the punch. Thus, Pretender status was fully reinstated. (Come to think of it, I got that happy news in mid-March…maybe that’s when the funk started.) I did send another article to the editor, but I fear it has fallen into the black hole of silent rejection.
Now I have only two short weeks* to come up with my manuscript for a mentor to review. A Highlights Foundation mentor. Holy s**t. What am I going to do?
PANIC. Which I am doing now–thank you for listening.
And get to work. Which I will do tomorrow, when the panic is out of my system.
Please send good vibes and good luck my way. I think I will need all I can get.
*Update on 5/30: Got another email this morning. The first one had the wrong date! I have till June 30 now, which eases the panic band around my chest a little. But, I have learned my lesson and will be working hard. 🙂 Whew, talk about motivation…