Why Getting Old Sucks

Don’t worry — I’ll do another post soon on why getting old doesn’t suck, but I have been in the “it sucks” mood for a little while. It doesn’t help that I have my 15- and 20-year-old kids reminding me how old I am every time I turn around! Also, my birthday is Saturday…49. I approach it warily and wonder what’s in store.

Okay, here we go:

• You wake up in the morning and realize you’re taking three pills; none of them are birth control.

• You have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Related to that, ladies: you squeeze out urine every time you sneeze.

• Sleeping in seems like a waste of time, even if you didn’t automatically wake up early.

• You decide it might not be so bad to give up your tent for a camper.

• Your kids tell you that you remind them of grandma and grandpa as you sit on the patio in the morning drinking coffee.

• You thought your parents (in-laws) were old when they were the same age as you are now, sitting on the patio drinking coffee.

• Your kids are old enough to think they know better than you do.

• Sitting on the floor to wrap Christmas presents kills your back. The same for bending over while you give your dog a bath.

• You listen to NPR on the radio more than you be-bop to music while you’re driving.

• The music you listened to in high school and college is now on the oldies station — which is why you listen to NPR.

• You decide the hangover is not worth the intoxication.

• You look forward to retirement, and (gulp) actually consider long-term care insurance.

• You start to understand the attraction of grandkids.

• You understand why some people wear glasses on a chain around their neck.

• You wonder why people are mumbling all the time so you can’t hear them.

• You start leaving sticky notes everywhere because you can’t remember a dang thing.

• You finally decide you need a colonoscopy.

• Menopause and hot flashes — ‘nuff said.

Anyone want to add to the list? Feel free!

About Jeannette Monahan

A writer sidetracked by life, with a husband and two boys who shine brighter than Arizona sunshine. Visit me at my blogs: jeannettemonahan.wordpress.com or jmmonahan.wordpress.com. You are always welcome.
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4 Responses to Why Getting Old Sucks

  1. Talk to me...I'm your Mother says:

    Well, 49 is pretty dang young from my lookout! Looks like you’ve pretty well covered it…except that when you get REALLY old, everyone starts calling you “Hon”, and “Dear”.

    • Oh my gosh, I missed your comment–sorry! Thank you for putting the age thing in perspective for me. I know age is just a state of mind, and when I read your blog I know you are just a youngster! 🙂

  2. It must be something in the water, because I too wrote a post on getting old about the same time as this one. I must say your list is more inclusive than mine was and totally hysterical. I’m glad I came and got to see this post.

    Isn’t it a joy getting older . . . BTW, belated Happy Birthday!

    • Thank you for visiting and for the birthday wishes. I hope you don’t mind I linked to your slip and slide post. I guess I need to go over to your blog and tell you? I don’t know if you’ll see this. (See, blogging newbie). 😉

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