Don’t worry — I’ll do another post soon on why getting old doesn’t suck, but I have been in the “it sucks” mood for a little while. It doesn’t help that I have my 15- and 20-year-old kids reminding me how old I am every time I turn around! Also, my birthday is Saturday…49. I approach it warily and wonder what’s in store.
Okay, here we go:
• You wake up in the morning and realize you’re taking three pills; none of them are birth control.
• You have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Related to that, ladies: you squeeze out urine every time you sneeze.
• Sleeping in seems like a waste of time, even if you didn’t automatically wake up early.
• You decide it might not be so bad to give up your tent for a camper.
• Your kids tell you that you remind them of grandma and grandpa as you sit on the patio in the morning drinking coffee.
• You thought your parents (in-laws) were old when they were the same age as you are now, sitting on the patio drinking coffee.
• Your kids are old enough to think they know better than you do.
• Sitting on the floor to wrap Christmas presents kills your back. The same for bending over while you give your dog a bath.
• You listen to NPR on the radio more than you be-bop to music while you’re driving.
• The music you listened to in high school and college is now on the oldies station — which is why you listen to NPR.
• You decide the hangover is not worth the intoxication.
• You look forward to retirement, and (gulp) actually consider long-term care insurance.
• You start to understand the attraction of grandkids.
• You understand why some people wear glasses on a chain around their neck.
• You wonder why people are mumbling all the time so you can’t hear them.
• You start leaving sticky notes everywhere because you can’t remember a dang thing.
• You finally decide you need a colonoscopy.
• Menopause and hot flashes — ‘nuff said.
Anyone want to add to the list? Feel free!